* The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.
* Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.
* The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.
* There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.
* On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.
* A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of Sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.
* If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host's beer.
* On picnics, the 'esky' is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be solved by leaving the food behind.
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