17 June, 2007

Aussie humour

* The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

* Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.

* The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

* There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.

* On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

* A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of Sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.

* If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host's beer.

* On picnics, the 'esky' is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be solved by leaving the food behind.

No comments: